A Letter of Inconvienence [Open]

[Evan Rosier]

(Shameless effort to make boards look full take 2.)

It was the second day back at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and Evan would have liked to say that it was a GREAT second day back. However, considering the infamous Murphy's Law and Evan's inner pessimist, it wasn't the greatest second day back. In fact, it was lousy. The breakfast confrontation was lousy. The classes were lousy (too much Transfiguration!). Lunch could not even satisfy him. He left halfway through. The day was perfectly lousy and Evan was starting to imagine that not even sex could bring his mood up. In fact, it would probably worsen the situation if no precautions were made during enjoyable rounds of sexual intercourse. No, Evan was doomed and as to why? Well, the answer was simple.

Aunt Druella.

Aunt Druella Rosier-Black had a way of making a grown hippogriff shrink back in terror. It was those damnable green eyes that all Rosiers shared, but her eyes - they might as well have come from the devil. Evan was afraid of her. He'd admit that much. She'd glare him down at the dinner table when he was a little boy. 'Sit up straight! No elbows on the table! Chin up! Chew quietly!' and it wouldn't end there. She'd pick out his wardrobe as a boy and comb his hair to the point where he looked like a damn poof. She'd yell at his dear mother too for 'not taking proper care of the boy since Modestus left.' It was a blessing when Uncle Cygnus and Aunt Druella decided to leave the Rosier house for a better home in northern France, near the water. Evan thought it was a gift from God, but there would be those times when Aunt Druella would send him the howler or letter when she was feeling nice. There were times when she visited for the Holidays and drive Evan and his mother mad. If Aunt Druella were to fall over dead, Evan would attend his dear aunt's funeral and spit on her grave as a farewell. Yes, the problem was always Aunt Druella.

And she came again, in his mind, breathing down his neck. Sending him letter after letter about this and that and this.

That morning was no different as owls flew into the Great Hall. Evan received a letter along with his year's schedule. The letter was the suspicious part. It could not have been from his mother as she was not the type to send letters to her beloved boy at Hogwarts. No, it was from someone else and as soon as Evan held up the letter to his eyes (just to make sure it was real), he knew that only bad things could come from it.

And bad things did.

To Evan Quentin Rosier
Beloved Nephew and Son of My Dear Brother, Modestus Quentin Rosier & His Faithful Wife Émilie Dianne Rosier
In Great Hall of Hogwarts, Scotland

I am writing to you, nephew, in regards to your graduation in June of the next year. Your mother, bless her soul, has informed me that you have yet to decide on a witch to marry prior to graduation. She has also informed me that you have yet spoken of any significent others while in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Now, it concerns me deeply, nephew, as you are the last Rosier male capable of carrying on the Rosier family name. It would disappoint me greatly to see a family that is older than Hogwarts itself to end, because of my nephew's incapability to find a suitable wife. Therefore, I am taking matters into my own hands and will be speaking with old family friends of a marriage arrangement. I have already spoken to the Dolohovs, Macnairs, and Wilkes on this manner. Also, to my own daughters if it comes down to it, nephew. We have rented out a restaurant in Hogsmeade for a get together party on your next trip to the town. We expect to see you at The Ritzy Ramora on -

"Load of utter shite." And with that, Evan ripped up the letter he was reading for the fiftieth time that day and threw the shredded pieces, to the best of his ability, into the lake. It was a cold September day and Evan was outside, sitting on a rock, moping. He was never a good moper, being the lively bunch out of his mates. Antonin was always the moper and his moping skills would have come in real handy right now. Evan didn't want to go to some stupid 'party'. Hell, he'd much rather not be married if he could decide on that. Yet, dear Aunt Druella had 'taken matters into her own hands' once more. "Bitch." And that was that.

(...Wtf? I don't know? Crap.)

[Roddy Lestrange]

"How very inappropriate of you." From behind the obviously distraught and angered Evan Rosier came the soft, shocked voice of Rodolphus Lestrange. Now, he really didn't find anything Evan said inappropriate, and was sure he had a good reason for proclaiming 'Bitch' at the lake, but that reason was yet to be seen. Sitting carefully on the edge of the rock, Rodolphus folder his arms across his chest and pushed his pony tail over his right shoulder.

Thankfully, his hair was being much more cooperative than it had been, or he never would have risked coming outside. The previous night, in his drunken stupor [no thanks to Evan for that] Rodolphus had set his mind to concocting a stronger, longer lasting hair style product that would give him just the right amounts of sleek and shine. Somehow, the two drunk boys had managed to make something useable, and had not yet caused any loss of hair.

One could only imagine the horrors that would ensue if Rodolphus Lestrange's hair were to fall out. [Though it would make a nice wig.]

Snapping out of his hair filled day dream, Rodolphus looked Evan over carefully. He was shocked to think that something was really the matter with his dear Evan. Wasn't he always supposed to be the emotionally stable one of the lot? "Well, what the matter?" Like most other boys his age, Rodolphus was not the most sensitive to the feelings of others, but he would strongly disagree if you said he was heartless. The sentence sounded feeble, and a little unlike himself, and he noticed. Sitting up a little straighter he gave his hair another toss and tried again. "I mean... lets have it then. Out with it. What's... eatin' you...?" If anything, Roddy's over attempt at masculenity would amuse Evan into a smirk.

[Evan Rosier]

"Like I'm ever appropriate." Evan muttered. He did not even have to turn around to see what has bothered his time of moping. He recognised the voice as it was one heard over the course of many years. Whether it be during a drunken night, during class, or in the middle of some high-class party for that wizard, Whatshisface. It wasn't Aunt Druella's. It wasn't like her voice at all. This one was more soothing and familiar and didn't make Evan want to scream like a frightened little girl. Why, this voice belonged to Rodolphus Lestrange, a master of gorgeous red hair.

Evan moved over an inch on the rock to allow some space fo Rodolphus to sit if he so wished. He wouldn't asked though. That didn't seem very appropriate or necessary. He just sat there, subtely hinting that Rodolphus ought to stay, sit, and listen to the mopey tales of Evan's pitiful existence. It was a rare sight to behold, so Rodolphus would probably stay any way. That and Evan was his friendly supplier of nicotine goodness in the form of fags.

Rodolphus did sit down and Evan dared glance at the boy he wasn now sharing a rock (which was very sharp) with. Rodolphus's hair was tied back and did not look as bad as it did before all the drinking the night before. Evan pondered for a moment on how Rodolphus's hair magically made itself good-looking again. If only Evan did not drink so much. Then maybe he would have remembered stumbling upon a great new hair product for sleek and shiny hair. If he remembered, he would have written down the recipe and made more than he already had by the millions. However, he didn't remember and that dream would never become a reality.

A fly buzzed by and ruined the pondering moment.

He took a deep breath. Alas! The truth had to come out sometime. It was going to be a shock to his poor mates, but it was better now than never. "I have to find a wife before Aunt Druella finds me a wench. Don't they have...mail orders from Russia? It would be better than anything she finds." Well, that was far easier and less melodramatic than he thought it would be.

[Roddy Lestrange]

"Wife?" Rodolphus asked, more than shocked at what he was hearing. Not only was it ridiculous to be threatening a seventeen year old into finding a wife, but the whole wife business was a sore issue for Rodolphus as well. He could feel his face fall into a serious, thoughtful frown, knowing what true horrors did lie beyond the veil of 'arranged marriages'. All the divination classes and crystal balls could not have foreseen the terrible fate his parents were forcing him in to. Just recently, summer time recent, he had been made aware of whom he would be marrying when school let out.

"I feel your pain." Rodolphus said calmly, tearing a blade of grass from the ground in effigy of his soon to be marriage. It wouldn't have been so bad, really, if his parents had chosen someone remotely attractive [in his eyes]... or someone male. "I'd choose a mail order bride over Bellatrix Black, any day." Slouching down a little, he closed his eyes, not wanting to see the look on Evan's face when he got the news. He hadn't told either of them of his families decision, because he was still trying to come to grips with it himself, while still maintaining his calm, smooth persona.

But it was a terrible fate, that of the pureblooded [ahem-gay-ahem] boys, and he assumed it would be equally as bad for Bellatrix... though the last time they had spoken she had seemed particularly enthralled by the idea.

"Think Severus has got a mail order magazine hidden in his bed somewhere?" Smirking lightly, there was no sense in wallowing over hi situation now. Making light of it was the best thing to do until the date got closer. "He manages to fit an awfully lot in there. Books, weapons... cauldrons. I bet that's where he lost his shampoo." Now, Rodolphus was not on board with the torture Severus about being a greasy person bandwagon, but he did think the kid could spend a little bit more time on his hair. If he was going to keep it long, he could at least use the proper shampoo, conditioner, hairsprays, gels, moose and styling pommeade to keep it shiny, but not greasy. It was a fine balance and he really needed to learn it.

[Evan Rosier]

Evan nodded in response to Rodolphus’s shocked ‘Wife’. Yes, a wife. Evan couldn’t fathom ever being tied down to someone. Being married to a woman would mean no more drinking with his friends late at night and things that lead to another. It probably meant he would have to grow a mustache to look ‘sophisticated’ and marriage with a woman would also mean…babies. Sure, it could also mean already-standing-there sex partner, but even that couldn’t get Evan into marriage.

He stared ahead and Rodolphus continued to speak. What he was rambling on about was a bit strange. How could Rodolphus understand how miserable he was feeling? He wasn‘t being forced to - ‘Feel his…’ “WAIT - “ Evan said aloud, bolting up from the rock. “Bellatrix? As in Black? As in my cousin?” He rambled, words slurring into each other. It would be amazing if Rodolphus could make out what he was saying in his shock.

The glamorous Slytherin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His large beater hands ruffled his hair for a moment before falling back to their place by his hips. So, this ‘must be married!!!’ thing was starting to haunt his best mates too. Perfect.

Evan chuckled a bit, however, despite the seriousness of the situation. “Maybe…he’s a lucky son of a bitch. I don’t think his parents care about marriage…” Then again, Evan had not caught up with Severus about their lives lately. He really ought to do that instead of getting drunk all the time. It would be good practice for when he gets…Evan gulped….married.

[Roddy Lestrange]

Ah, Evan Rosier psycho babble. Anyone else at Hogwarts would assume that he was having some sort of fit, but Rodolphus new better. This was how Evan dealt with extreme amounts of shock. He rambled on like a made man on speed [which he probably would have been, given the opportunity.] Draping his arms over his knees he hung his head, shaking it back and forth, attempting not to be too distraught.

"Yes your cousin. Could we be a worse match?" Rubbing his eyes with his hands he sighed deeply, forcing himself to regain composure and a smile. "She couldn't be more overjoyed." Rodolphus stood up and sighed heavily. It was times like these that he almost wished he wasn't born into a pureblood family... almost. Looking at Evan, sitting on his rock in thought, Roddy was suddenly overcome with the urge to push him over and lie on top of him.

So that’s what he did.

Kneeling onto the rock her carefully pushed Evan over and rested himself on top of his friend. Thankfully, they wouldn’t have to worry about anyone seeing them, because everyone was in class where they should have been. “I hate marriage. And I hate women.” He stated, sounding a little pouty, but didn’t he have the right? Being forced into such things, it was completely uncalled for.

[Hiss]

Evan paced back and forth. His hands coming up to meet his hair. This was insane! This was uncalled for! Not only was Evan being forced to settle down, but Rodolphus? What next? Antonin was going to be walking around in a smoking jacket and pushing a baby stroller? Evan stopped for a moment, eyes going wide at such a terrible mental image. He needed a seat...and a break...and some booze.

Unfortunately only two out of the three could be available at that moment, so Evan sat down next to Rodolphus again on the uncomfourtably, sharp rock.

The topic of his darling cousin continued. "I cannot imagine her with anyone. Maybe a dragon...I mean..." He took a deep breath and tried to recollect his thoughts. "She's a looker, but bloody Hell she's fierce. I'd run for the hills, mate." Not helping.

He supposed it didn't matter.

As Rodolphus was ontop of him now.

Though he did wish Rodolphus was more careful when tackling him. Evan's robes around the knee snagged onto a point on the rock and ripped slightly, exposing said knee. And now his knee was probably bleeding from a cut. And most likely there are grass stains on his elbows and there will be a bruise there in the morning. All this pain though was momentarily forgotten as Evan had to remember, yet again, that Rodolphus was ontop him. "Well, hello." He said and then went back to the conversation at hand. "You HAVE to marry though, mate, unless you'd like to say that last bit to your folks." He held out his hand, pointed at Rodolphus's nose, and made a 'fwoosh' sound. "Name off the family tree forever."

[Roddy Lestrange]

If there was ever anything to thank Merlin for, it was that Rodolphus had best friends who accepted his affection in the form of crawling all over them. If only everyone in the world could be as lucky. "I'm certainly no dragon." He said with a sigh, nuzzling his head into Evan's shoulder. "I have the feeling that she will absolutely tear me apart. I'm fragile you know. Like a flower." Batting his eyes sadly, there was a part of this statement that was true. Bellatrix Black was just more than he could handle. She was, in fact, more than any sane man could handle.

Why was Evan being so counter productive?

"You know mate, as my best friend, you should really try to be more consoling. Telling me to run for the hills isn't very soothing." It was honest, yes, but not comforting at all. "Flower, remember?"

And why was this damn rock so sharp? Weren't rocks supposed to be smooth and warmed in the sun? Well, maybe not that last part, but he had really been hoping for smooth. “Oh can you imagine the horror of that conversation?” Pushing himself into a kneeling position over Evan, he had the entire thing worked out. “Hello mother, father. We have something we really need to talk about. You know this whole Bellatrix nonsense? Well, it simply can not be… because I’m queer.” Still kneeling over Evan he leaned forward and rested his head on his mate’s chest.

“I think that conversation would lead to a slow and painful death.” With a slight tilt of his head he was now peering at Evan through strands of his perfect [as it shall forever be referred to] red hair. “We should run away. I know it sounds childish but me, you and Antonin would have a smashing good time, don’t you think?”

[Hiss]

"Normally, birds tearing me apart would be sexually pleasing, but in this case..." Okay, nothing Evan will say from here on forth would be very comfourting, because let's face it, one cannot lie and fake a smile while going through such a situation as this. It wouldn't turn out right for both parties at all when it comes down to it. The two boys would just have to be bluntly honest and prepare themselves for the 'joys of eternal bliss' with their brides-to-be. On second thought, maybe Evan would be much happier with marriage if he was going to marry the lead singer of The Ministers or a stripper from Mermaid's Cove. He'd probably moreso go with the rockstar. They'd understand his needs. Now to convince his Aunt...

Who was he kidding? Evan was not going to marry Mercutio Woden no matter how much he begged.

Evan sighed out of disappointment. He reached out a hand and for the moment, stroked the other boy's hair. "Flower? I thought I was the rosebush, mate." He smirked, again attempting to lighten up the situation even though he really shouldn't and just accept fate. He let his hand drop back to his side as Rodolphus sat up and listened intently as more light-hearted with morbid, hidden meanings jokes were spoken once more.

"Well...at least you won't marry her then." Evan replied glumly, hand back to stroking red hair. He didn't want to show the glumness though. That wouldn't do at all, so back to smiling he was, pretending that everything was right in the world when it really wasn't. As long as it made Rodolphus comfourtable at the least and look! Evan even chuckled a bit when Rodolphus was contemplating running away and -

Evan tried to sit up, but this was very hard as a large somebody was ontop of him. He just went with sitting up on his elbows instead. "Antonin?" [insert nervous laughter] "What would give you that idea?"

[Roddy Lestrange]

"Well sure. Rose bushes and flowers are different things. Roses have got those nasty thorns and can really put up a fight." Looping his hand into Evan's hair he mussed it around a little, for good fun. "I haven't got any of that. Think of me like... like a lily! A soft, dainty, fragile lily." This particular phrase was cooed very nicely into Evan's neck, and yes, Rodolphus was pushing for a little affection. He needed it to take his mind of horrible things like Bellatrix Black.

“And sure, I won’t be married, but I’ll probably have to go into hiding, and how much fun would that be? I wouldn’t be able to properly care for my hair.” Rodolphus was now moving his face from Evan’s neck, so it hovered directly over the other boys. “That would certainly make me unattractive, no? And who wants an unattractive boy.” Ass if to prove the point that attractive boys were in much higher demand, he leaned against Evan and gave him a nice little [XD Never little. I’m just saying that.] kiss. “See, if I had bad hair, you wouldn’t have liked that at all.”

So, maybe a lighter mood was better?

But suddenly, a bit of movement from under him disrupted Rodolphus’ kiss heaven. Quirking his brow very elegantly he observed Evan acting very... jumpy? This was very unlike his best friend. “Well, yes... Antonin. We’re all best mates, so I just figured he’d be in on a running away scam.” Blinking down at Evan, he narrowed his eyes slightly trying to read what he was thinking. “What did you think I meant?”

[Wow, I'm really sorry Hiss. This post reads reall badly. :/ ]